Sister, sorry you're having so much trouble with your T.

I try to look at the overall picture, the overall relationship. When my T said something ugly to me, it was "out of character" for her and the relationship. I didn't deny she said it but I had to look at it and see if there wasn't some valid reason she said it. Took me an entire week but then I realized it was a warning rather than a put-down. She cared and was trying to show my previous patterns were dangerous and to "watch out!" for them so I wouldn't keep repeating them, making them stronger. If I'd been further along in my therapy I could maybe have stopped her right there and discussed my reaction and gotten to her reasons for what she said instead of my paying attention to what I heard in my self and thought it meant.