Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild Coyote
When we are kind, compassionate, understanding, some people will try to take advantage of us. They mistake the compassion for being a push-over, sometimes.
I am very sorry this has been your experience, thus far. 
You seem so very sincere; this must be very hurtful.
Maybe you aren't paranoid. Maybe you are just on "high alert?"
I tend to be on "high alert" from past traumas.
Under certain circumstances, I'd also wonder about the cause of my flat tire, especially if I had someone telling me they flatten tires for revenge.
I have found you to be a great person, Seesaw. I think maybe you are too hard on yourself?
I hope you'll have some healing relationships soon! 
WC |
Yes, I definitely exhibit hyper vigilance with things. But I think I have to also acknowledge my paranoia, as Little Cat was kind enough to gently confirm she has noticed it too.
I think it's hard not to suspect things right now with some of the issues I'm dealing with (won't got into detail), but I need to continue to work on it.
It's just very difficult not to suspect when you are so used to beginning to trust someone and then they turn around and use what they know about you to harm you.
At my last employer, before I started my business, I had a co-worker, I did not share information about my PTSD or hospitalizations or anything with anyone, I kept it entirely to myself. I had been there about a year, and building just colleague friendships, when one coworker began to share with me in private the struggles she was going through emotionally. This went on for a while. I did not share specifics with her, but I encouraged her to think of changing directions with her career because she was so unhappy, she would cry at work. I told her, from experience, that doing work that makes you so miserable is not good for your mental health.
Anyways, at one point I did open up and mentioned something specific (though not all the details) about having PTSD and depression. After all the support I gave to her, and all the help I gave her in completing her work, she started openly throwing me under the bus in meetings and behind my back. Not to mention it was pretty well known she was having an affair with the CEO.
That's not the only time something like that has happened.