Hi,

I am a 38 year old Norwegian man who can feel pretty great around others when feeling energetic, or when I challenge my fears socially and get a high from it, and can "give" this positive energy to others, but when I have negative emotions (sad, tired, etc), I feel worthless around others.
As if having needs of my own makes me worthless/needy.

My question is: If you don't feel this way, how do you view your negative emotions around others? How do you still feel as worthy with them as when you are happy?

I can highlight some more elements in this, but any answer to the above question alone will help me a lot:

• Generally don't feel good enough, less than others
• Don't feel that my needs are as important as others'
• Withdraw from people when having neg. feelings - "nobody wants to know of me then"
• I can get nice glances from girls, but if I were to approach them, I am too afraid they'll see I'm needy and reject me "when they find me out"
• Normally I have a method, some cognitive idea to follow trying make it work anyway
  • e.g. "If I have social momentum, have a high social state, then they will like me", or
  • "If I show vulnerability, then they will like me".
  Following a concept like this gives a feeling of control, as opposed to approaching someone without knowing what I am doing,
  being totally exposed (I guess, actually vulnerable).
• If I am dating someone I really like, I may look for confirmation that it's too good to be true, they don't really like me and push them away, to my great frustration/sadness right after.