My last T may have learned a thing or two from me as I'm pretty vocal and assertive.

He was so incredibly dogmatic about the way he did therapy; rigid and inflexible and was very thick, so it takes a lot for him to see something outside of his mindset. Sometimes, while in the process of ruptures, I would tell him that some things he did were really just acting like a jerk rather than adhering to some therapeutic principle. Or, I would explain to him why it's not therapeutic and can cause harm. He seemed surprised to hear this, but he must have thought about it and agree as he did change something he was doing for 30+ years.

I did not set out to change him, but there were times during ruptures when I thought he could at least meet me half way--even 1/4 of the way. Mostly he would not even move .0001, but there were, however, a couple of times where he thought about what I said and it had some impact on the way he does therapy, like the example above.

I remember him learning a key psychoanalytic principle from me, and he had to admit I was right and he was wrong as there are numerous books and articles that align with what I said. He is a psychoanalyst but had this concept all wrong, and it was an important one that distinguished that he did therapy the old school way...the topic came up at another time where I really, really needed him to try to meet me half way.

Other than that, he would never admit it or acknowledge any influence I had on him. Never in a million years would he share a thought like that with me as it would be handing over some of his power to me, and he always made sure he did not do that.