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Old Apr 08, 2018, 10:08 AM
Anonymous55498
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I am quite used to people saying they learn things from me and have no reason to assume it would be different for therapists, but Ts are usually less expressive about their side of the experience, so hard to know. Both of mine said that they learned from me/working with me but I did not really feel significant change in their approach/attitude/whatnot in my therapy. Usually it took repeated direct asking or explaining before they seemed to get what I was saying about my preferences and how I saw their acts. My first T was massively dogmatic and never really stopped projecting things on me - in the end that was what made me stop seeing him. I would have loved to see him become more open-minded and able to see things from many angles but I think that is just not in his basic personality much. One little adjustment he did make after a couple months of seeing me was becoming more interactive in our sessions - this after my telling him repeatedly that I won't pay him for just sitting there and saying a few very superficial sentences. He did engage much more after that at least.

Last T said many times that my life strategies, reactions and values were so different from other clients that he did not even attempt to interpret me much or use his usual techniques with me. He emphasized so much how different I apparently was, I really got tired of it, especially because it's something I have heard frequently from people in my whole life. From a T all that sounded more like an argument for not doing much actively, kinda avoiding the challenge. I will never know if any of them has become better / more flexible professionally.

It's also true that I never saw a therapist long enough or did deep enough work with them for significant learning experiences to occur. Or if it did, it wasn't expressed to me much.
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