So as many of you know, I have had a hell of a time in my life with toxic and abusive relationships, the most recent most significant one being with my ex fiance who totally used and abused me.

I think I am finally ridding myself of toxicity. It's poison still lingers around, because the toxic fumes infect a person's very soul and spirit to the core.

Psychological and mental abuse wounds do not heal quickly, I have learned. It takes time... and sometimes a long time to heal.

Cruel, nasty words DO hurt. I do not have a thick enough skin to NOT allow them to hurt me.

The point being --- I am DONE with toxic relationships. I am too old for that crap.

It's a weird feeling to experience something healthy and normal, when one is SO used to the opposite for so many years-- the ups and downs, the emotional roller coaster ride, the angst, the worry, the hurt, the pain, the fear....... not knowing when they will be nice or mean to you..... feeling hurt &upset most of the time.

My current boyfriend treats me like gold. He is a true gem -- he's always respectful and treats me with the utmost honor. He doesn't have a single mean bone in his body. So that's what it's like??? Who knew!

Love is NOT a battlefield. It never should be!!! IF love IS a battlefield, and if one must draw a sword in defense of one's very own character, it's time to reevaluate, question and wonder what one is doing in that relationship.

I have spent too many years in those kinds of relationships. Those wounds are there, and will probably be there forever -- like tattoos stamped on my body.

I will never ever forget the hurt & pain I endured in so many different relationships, but I will leave it all behind me, jumping happily with glee that I no longer am dealing with it.

It's time to feel healthy.... and with each day that passes, I do more and more. I feel like this is how it SHOULD be. Just normal -- no roller coaster ride, no questioning, no doubts, no hurt, no pain, no yelling, no nastiness, no fighting.

SO goodbye to toxic relationships and good riddance!