Everyone (GP, podcast, therapist) tells me how strong I am because I manage to drag myself out of bed every day, and somehow do everything that is expected of me.
But I can't do it any more. I don't want to do it any more. I just want someone to hug me and tell me that I don't have to be grown up for a while, and I can cry and it will all be ok, except that will never happen.
Plus I have to be strong now, more than ever. My dad is dying - he has a couple on months at most left, and I just want to go to sleep and not wake up


My pdoc told me to increase my dose of escitalipram this week, even though I told her the dose I was on (10mg) made me really sleepy. Her response was that I have been feeling like that for a while. I took 20mg and felt like a zombie all the next day - but hey, what do I know.