Hello SantaFe: I'm sorry that writing about your concerns did not feel helpful. However, there can be a lot of support available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.)

Anyway... since this is your first post here on PC... welcome to PsychCentral! May I suggest that you introduce yourself to the membership as a whole in our New Members Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of letting go of past hurts. Perhaps some of the information in them can be of some help:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/learni...ys-to-move-on/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/lettin...ful-over-time/

https://psychcentral.com/newsletter/...8/haunting.htm

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...of-letting-go/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-ways-to-let-go/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-ways...ul-past/?all=1

My best wishes to you...