TSG is right. You kind of remind me of me in some ways. At age 14 I saw a crossdresser on TV who really looked like a woman and soon after began to have crossdressing fantasies in which I was was dominated by mean women in some way.
When the arousal was gone I felt totally back to my regular self.
In later years the fantasies went away then returned for a short time and went away again.
Today I consider myself to be a sadomasochist.
While more dominant and sadistic I do enjoy pain and the idea of heavy bondage but, no humilation or perhaps maybe a different type of humiliation than the standard but, that's just me.
I wouldn't be ashamed of it. It's just something that revs your engine.
We don't always know why some things are attractive to us. We just know that they are and that it can be a theraputic outlet for pent up frustrations.
I suggest you do a web search on BDSM and fetish forums, lurk for a few months and then, join. You may make a lot of interesting friends.