Why is it so much harder to take advice than to give it. Even when it’s your own advice

I read people’s posts about how they shouldn’t be feeling so bad because others are worse off than them. My heart breaks and I think “oh sweetie, don’t do that yourself. Your pain is real to you.” It’s a trap because there is always someone somewhere who has it worse.

then I turn around and do the same damned thing to myself. I had a total melt down today complete with a panic attack and tears because my husband asked me to go to the grocery store. I couldn’t do it. I have a phobia about grocery stores and grocery store parking lots. It’s a long story better left for another time.

So I proceeded to give myself a major beat down. “You are damaged goods lady! You can’t even go to the grocery store. You should be grateful that you afford groceries! Many people have worse problems and they manage to function...what the hell is wrong with you???” On and on I went. I can be extremely creative when it comes to ripping myself a new one. If I was as mean to anyone else as I am to myself they would probably bonk me over the head.

Why do I do this? Well there is that tiny little matter of dealing with bipolar, anxiety and PTSD. I don’t get to be perfect. Oh well.....