My Support Forums - View Single Post - Dear T: I Really Need to Tell You Something, but I Don't Know How...Part XXX

chihirochild · Apr 08, 2018, 10:35 PM

dear t,

i know you're not really abandoning me and that you are busting your *$$ to find me a new t but i still hate you for abandoning me. f*** you.

(but also please hold me i'm begging you)

i hate therapy. or rather I hate this GOD****** MOTHER****ING DEPRESSION THAT MAKES ME NEED THERAPY. F*** THE COLD UNCARING UNIVERSE AND F*** YOU FOR PROFITING FROM IT. F*** YOU FOR WANTING TO WORK OUT YOUR F***ING CHILDHOOD TRAUMA OR WHATEVER BY PLAYING WOUNDED HEALER TO MY SORRY WOUNDED *$$ AND F*** YOU FOR DECIDING THAT MY PARTICULAR FLAVOR OF F**ED UP ISN'T QUITE TO YOUR LIKING SO YOU DON'T WANT TO BOTHER WITH ME ANYMORE.

Possible trigger:

i know that SHing won't punish you but i want to hurt myself to punish you anyway. isn't that f***ed up? maybe if i carve your initials into my ankle or something you'll see how much you hurt me. [i do know that this is completely and totally insane and would never do this... though the fact that this COMPLETELY MOTHER****ING CRAZY thought came into my head at all might have something to do with the fact that I know that most of your patients have cluster b disorders and do that sort of s*** on the regular--maybe some part of me is trying to be more like them so you'll let me stay]

just... f*** you.

-c