So my ex has not written me back.. yes, I have checked my filtered email several times to see if he has. I couldn't help it.

But now I am recalling my therapist's previous words to me about this: she said, you wouldn't actually drink poison would you???? And that's what this is. His words are pure poison. HE is pure poison. So anything he has to say in reply (and I am sure it will be mean, very hurtful and harsh), will be poisonous & hazardous to my very being and soul.

I keep thinking this every time I check email now. And every time I do check, I brace myself.

Now I am convinced I have to delete it ASAP and not read a single word that he has to say.

I see my therapist tomorrow eve and will talk about this final email I sent. She will most likely repeat the same advice about drinking poison.

And the other thing is, I am so happy now that I don't want anything interfering with it. Words from my ex could bring me down and backwards. I know myself too well and I would take it all to heart. We've discussed that one here, and I will bring that up to my therapist, too... about not believing others' mean and false words. But still, it is for my own mental health that I must DELETE his response.