Years ago that has altered the course of my life. God was sending me a blessing and I threw it away. It was a winning contest ticket that I toss and no one ever claimed the prize. It was for a 1 million dollars and I could have avoided bankruptcy kept custody of my kids, bought a house, but instead I live with my mother filed bankruptcy 2 times.

All because some guy told me the contest was over and I didn't realize you still had a year to claim the prize. The last few nights it's all I think about, I can't change it. I ruined my life all because some stranger asshole got involved. I was excited and announced my winning ticket. I don't know what to do to move past these thoughts they are tormenting me. I really threw away a million dollars.

I keep wishing I would get blessed like that or better again, but it hasn't happened in 12 years. I wasn't even planning to play that contest which is no longer being held. I happened across it. It was fated and I screwed up fate.

I just want the thoughts of what my life would be if I had kept the ticket to go away. I can't change the past. I really would have been able to hire an attorney and keep my kids. My son would still be alive, I might be a grandma. Just so many thoughts all because of 1 huge mistake that led to many other mistakes.