I say this as someone who was left behind. It's actually easier to remember the date of their death every year rather than their birthday. The truth is that I still miss him... and who he was supposed to be in my life. I'm still mad at him. Mad that he did it in our home to be found. Mad that I'll never have the option of taking my own life simply because I KNOW the devastation left in the wake. I refuse to be that selfish. I refuse to be the one that makes it "run in the family."

The price of living and loving is pain and suffering. Hurting is feeling. Feeling is living, and isn't it a good day to be alive?! ...At least, it's better than dying yesterday.

The people who love you will never understand. You have to remember that while they don't want you to suffer, YOU are LEAVING THEM behind. Eventually they will be able to remember you in some fond memories. But first and foremost, they will always remember you for HOW YOU LEFT.

If this is something you are serious about, you DO NOT ask permission or forgiveness. You do not leave any burdens but the memory of you. You wrap up your loose ends, and then you... I don't know... take up extreme sports. Have an unfortunate equipment failure. YOU DO NOT leave your family feeling like they should have done something different or more. It's not their fault! (in most cases). It's your CHOICE. You chose to give up.

I feel like I should apologize for my strong opinion. I have struggled with this since I was 8 years old. I consider myself improved by the fact that instead of wanting to die, I merely do not want to live. I am in no way healthy, but I AM stubborn af.

I hope you find the strength to ALWAYS try one more thing. There will always be something to TRY to improve your health and situation. I just keep TRYING something new. You never know what will change your whole life... your whole world.