Thanks everyone for replies. Sorry I haven’t responded until now. I am on medication but I’m not sure it’s helping.

I don’t have anyone I can talk to. I’ve tried counselling before in the past and I’m currently on the waiting list for it again.
I try and do meditation/ mindfulness things but my mind always wanders, relaxation breathing does helps when I get myself into a panicky state tho.

My mind keeps racing and I just want to shut it up. I keep thinking about the past and things that has happened and things I wish I could change. I just feel so down and alone. Every time I start to feel happy something happens. It feels like I don’t deserve to be happy