A long while ago, back when I was 8 I think, a close friend of mine passed away. Prior to that I had had no emotional stress. I didn't know how to cope. I figured out a way to not let it bother me, though. I went numb. Looking back on my decision, I can see how it was foolish. Bottling up your emotions only leads to greater heartache down the line. The thing is, I still use this mechanism. It is more of a reflex now more than anything. Of course, constant depression breaks through my numbness barrier and just makes me feel like crap. I don't cry though. I wish i could cry, but I can't. I searched this up in relation to depression and found that it is one of the main symptoms of melancholic depression. I found this interesting, because i had at that point found that the best way to describe my mood was melancholy. So the morale of the story... don't do that I guess. Talking is better than not talking.