and mckell... you said you didn't have any transference at all... you hid this little thing No offense.. just that sunrises mantra and your frequent statement of not being able to let og and trust your T... hmmm.... math is a funny thing.

but hey.. with the self sufficiency.. yes, the goal is a transitional object that we actually do transition to and then from... to allow ourselves that is a different ball of wax (where did that phrase come from and why does anyone want *any* ball of wax?).

an analogy of a bone that got broken but never fixed, has grown wrong... so a doc needs to re-break and re-set the bone... of course the goal is to heal and walk again, but we have to learn to allow ourselves to trust the doctor first.. to even come close much less break a bone on purpose. We have to learn to rely on the healers to help us learn to get back to walking on our own, but this time with a bone that is healthier..

learning how to let go of control is an important skill too... it makes us felxible in the world. The Japanese (maybe CHinese?) symbol of strength is not rock or steel, it;s the willow because it has give.. it can bend and will not break easily. Same with us.. we need to learn to bend, to give over some control as it is appropriate in our lives.. if we rigidly retain control at all times we become brittle, like the steel.