Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
OP is searching her heart, agonizing, wondering if she can or should give up children to have him. She is looking at everything in her heart.
He, however, as far as we know, seems not to be doing any agonizing.
One way to look at him is to say that he is true to who he is.
Another way to look at him is to say that he doesn't care enough about her to even try.
Someone above suggested a trial separation. That sounds good to me.
I think that OP would do well to leave this guy for (say) six months and then see whether or not she can in fact live without him, and see how interested he is in waiting for her.
During those six months, both of them find could find ways to spend time with children. Her, to fully explore (as best she can) whether she can live without them. Him, to fully explore (as best he can) whether he can live with them.
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He has certainly agonized over this topic. We have talked about it repeatedly. He has discussed alternatives. Part of his reason for not wanting kids is not passing down health issues. So we talked adoption. But it’s the lifestyle he doesn’t want too. He spent months babysitting and working with kids at work to see how he would do with kids. He said even the kids he enjoyed being around were exhausting and would not want to be a 24/7 job. We talked about maybe just having 1 to make it easier but he doesn’t want any. He was just crying about this issue last night. I know he has been agonizing over this and it has been very difficult and something he tried to convince himself to do for my sake but at the end of the day bringing another life in the world shouldn’t be something you do for someone else. No amount of love in the world would make that okay. And I recognize that now but I don’t want to let him go.