We went and had our mouth deep cleaned and two left uppers pulled...and the most I can remember about it is I felt dissed out, there but not.

The dentist kept chatting away and none of it really sank in. They gave me a couple of local anesthesia shots and started working at cleaning and extractions.

I just remember bits and pieces and just nodding my head not saying much because I wasn’t exactly there all dazed up.

They said I did a good job for I am able to shut off pain...I mean it will hurt but the memory of it hurting will get buried so I ain’t bothered about it.

It’s so embarrassing having bad teeth, I mean they see but don’t know why. They don’t know about the 18 years of terror I lived, the c-ptsd, dissociative issues, years of self-destructiveness to ending it all by “accidental overdose”....but we kept living. Now that the fire has died out over time and I’m now just living....the evidence is accusational.

So I told the assistant I had memory problems stemming from child abuse...so I kept forgetting to fix my teeth once the pain was gone. I felt a little better.

This was the left side....next week we do the right side...then 4 root canals.
This immediate momentary pain isn’t anywhere near what Ive lived through...so it’s nothing but a thing.

NEXT!