Last night was really tough. I broke down and cried in bed- then I dreamt about you.

I was admitted on the psychward at my teaching hospital and I'm crying. I see you in a white lab coat grabbing a stethoscope from someone else and literally diagnosing a condition in a patient that's collapsed on the floor near the small lifts thereby saving the day.

I join the library with my sister, knowing your wife is also a member of and I meet her. I don't tell her that I know you. I find an online blog she's written things like when she first met you and childbirth.

I find out that you actually have three children: two more sons and not just the daughter I thought you had. I see you sitting in "my" chair in our therapy room playing with them. The oldest has a red car and is perhaps 6.

Then I see a van driving along a desert and I ask where you've gone. The answer is Dubai, but for some reason I don't really think you'd go there in real life.

*Just seven more days to go if I decide to see you on the 17th.