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Is it actually a fear like if you feel a little happy you freak out like someone freaks out over a spider or is it that us children of trauma never learned how to be happy? As my husband says to me, "You know what you problem is? You never learned how to be happy."
My therapist has asked what makes me happy. I always respond it is not happy it is more just being at peace. Peace in my internal furnace of emotions. Calm emotions and a feeling of safety. To me that is being happy.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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