Quote:
Originally Posted by frustlandlady
Speaking about toxicity and red flags, when you are dusscussing with your partner and say what you like and what you don't like and all suddently out of nowhere he starts saying what his mother likes, while you are speaking about you two he brings his mother into his thought and into the discussion, isn't it a red flag?
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Not necessarily.
I have never met my mother in law as she passed away from cancer many years ago. My husband sometimes mentions what she liked (something that I like too). My husband is wonderful and has no “mommy” issue. Although he does miss his mother a lot. I think it’s red flag if people are obsessing or bringing up their mothers up at inappropriate times (during sex of other extreme cases). Other than that I don’t think it’s wrong. I bring up my mother randomly as she is on my mind (very ill with cancer right now) we also bring up our kids randomly (not mutual kids) at all times.
But there are no red flags in our marriage. In fact loving one’s mother and being a good father is a green light for me rather than red flag.
So it depends