This sounds like your husband gets "anger and frustration" first and doesn't get to "why" until he vents his anger out in an argument. This is typical of a person who experienced childhood emotional neglect. Men can have a hard time articulating their emotional challenges and what you have described is showing this is how it is with your husband. Your husband really would benefit from therapy that is designed to help him better articulate his emotional needs not only with your but for himself internally as well.