I am sorry your husband does not understand your SI. You are not selfish. You are trying to cope with what you have and SI is one of those mechanisms. It is a very addicting behavior and one that is hard to stop. Have you ever gone to talk to someone about stopping your SI? Sometimes it helps to have someone help think through alternatives. Please don't punish yourself for using something that has helped you deal with strong feelings. I am glad you have found us and hope we help provide some support you are looking for.

BB