Hi Laurie, that's a fair question. I was encouraging the OP to think about a lot of things when it comes to her deciding what she wants and then to look at her relationship and if her partner is even the kind of person who would be right to have a child with if he even agreed to have a child. The OP is still young and at first was just thinking about experiencing a relationship with someone, now that she is getting older she is actually thinking about other things she would like to experience in her life. She is asking an important question in her thread and for her to come to a decision about what she should do, she needs to look at a lot of different things she may not have thought about before. A man has more time to make this decision, a woman doesn't have as much time and has to consider how long she really has when it comes to having a baby of her own. However, some men are simply not cut out to be a "daddy" and that is important to pay attention to. Also, it sounds like the man she is with is very involved with getting his education and becoming a doctor. Right now that is his priority and he has talked about not wanting children and sometimes this changes and sometimes it doesn't as other posters have shared. From what she has shared, it sounds like her partner is also still young,( late 20's? ) and a lot of men are not interested when they are still maturing and figuring out what they want in life as that is what she has shared about her partner. A man really needs time to find himself, to figure out how he is going to make his way in his life before he is ready to think about the responsibility of having a child/children and the huge commitments of having a family. She talked about him wanting to be a doctor, well, that in itself is a huge commitment and establishing that career course is very stressful and it's not surprising her partner has no interest in committing to anything else right now. A person does a lot of growing and maturing in their late twenties and early thirties and with her partner's decision to become a doctor, he is first learning how to embrace the education, then he will be exposed to the world of practicing and then he will get to a point where he will slowly become an actual practicing doctor. It's not surprising her partner gets stressed, short tempered and experiences some depression as his career path is exposing him to some significant realities that are very challenging to sort through and psychologically accept.

My guess is the OP is around age 25? My question to the OP is has she made her own career choice or has she been picturing being a homemaker and having her life about being "there" for her partner? If this man is going to be a doctor, he will get very busy with that, won't be around as much and what is she going to be doing while he is busy with his career?

There are a lot of things a person should really consider when it comes to making the commitment to have a child. A lot of women think about having a "baby", yet, that baby will need a parent that is educated in child development and it's a lot more involved then the romance of having that baby. Truth is a lot of women have a child because they are dealing with nature's way of when a woman is ready and pushes the woman to "want" to reproduce. A lot of women have a child because that's what comes next and they find themselves often not really ready for the level of commitment involved with having a child and being responsible for that child over the span on many years. I presented that thread so the OP can sit and think about all the challenges people face, real life challenges when they grow up with parents who were not really ready to be a parent, and often just had a child because that's what comes next and did not really think about the commitment they were actually making. For the woman, it's a big decision too because "now" marriages are not like they used to be and a lot of women get left with raising a child on their own. So, the dream of, that long ago "ideal" of having a "family" is simply not a reality.

I raised a child myself, I have also spent a great deal of my life being around children and I saw a lot of things that were rude awakenings when it came to seeing children growing up in different ways and how that affected them. Even when you are dedicated to being the best possible parent you can be, your child can face piers that present them with challenges simply because these piers don't have the same kind of "nurturing" and respect from their parents. So, with that alone, if you don't establish a healthy bond with your child where your child genuinely feels "safe" coming to you, that child can suffer "alone" and develop some deep challenges with their self esteem because of how their piers interact where they don't have respect, they don't have the kind of caring that this child grew up having in their home.

The "home" really revolves around the mother, so it's very important that if you want children and a family that you spend time learning about child development, what is really involved, what that commitment really means and if you really want it and if you have a partner that can BE a partner in your family unit. A partner needs to understand that their part in the parental picture is VERY important, how they interact with the mother and the child is EXTREMELY important.