Yesterday I was terribly anxious. It was my first day at work. All I had to do was get trained on the operations and protocol of my role in the restaurant. It isn't terribly difficult. Overall, it was a good day. I liked my job. I only felt uncomfortable when the woman training me was talking about personal matters with one of the restaurant staff. I hate standing around with nothing to contribute, and if I do I feel like I'm inserting myself into somewhere I don't fit.

It doesn't matter, though. I figure my best strategy is to get on the good side of the manager, whom already likes me. And because she's new, I'm in a position to shine simply by taking her seriously; the rest of the staff is waiting for how long she might last. I've been around long enough to know she isn't bad at all. The downside to this strategy, though, is that she might leave. That means I'd have to adjust, which I'm not good at.

Being strategic helps me distance myself. I don't want to get close. I get close, then I get sloppy. And if something changes then I'll find any reason to quit. I hate that.

Either way, it always starts off good. Maintaining this without being hard on myself is truly the goal.