It’s got to be difficult to be struggling with your issues. But like the others said no one is going to say “ok you’re right go ahead and do it.” You seem to be saying “if I don’t get exactly what I want (fame, power, etc.) than life is not worth living. There are over 5 billion people on this planet only a handful get exactly what they want. Even then it frequently turns out that it wasn’t what they wanted after all.

It might help to give some thought to why you want fame and power. Do you feel powerless in your day to day life? Fame? If you get famous you will never have a minute of privacy. Do you want that? Think about how these things you want would make your life better. You may be over looking some steps you could take care right now to improve your situation.