I hate my brain, I hate myself. Truly.

I have been so overwhelmed with self destructive thoughts and urges the past couple of weeks and I can’t seem to stop it. And I just don’t get it. There is nothing wrong, nothing that has trigger it. This is just how I am, who I am.

Everyday I take my meds and I just want to take extra.
Everyday I want to cut.
Everyday I want to drink until I am drunk, if only to stop this.

I just don’t know the answer anymore. I don’t get why I am struggling, and I have no idea what to do to make it better.

It seems so hopeless.