Olive, I know there is an awful lot of propaganda out there telling us that depression is just like diabetes. An awful lot of depressed people have their self-esteem invested in believing that because, otherwise they can't proclaim "It's not my fault!" which is the be and end all to people who are emotionally troubled. Try to open your mind to the wiser viewpoint, held by most savvy people, that the cause of depression is multifactorial. There is zero proof that it boils down to "a chemical imbalance of the brain." Inborn temperament can be a factor. I am depressed and come from a family of depressive. I've worked in mental health. Usually depressed folks do have some problems in their attitudes and how they approach life. (Much therapy is based on that premise.)

This is not about blame. People are no more responsible for how they were reared or the influences that shaped them than they are for their genes. Your guy is a product of all these things. People don't just become and remain severely depressed because of their genes. Nobody I ever knew. Spend some time thinking about his life story. There is more to what shaped him than his chromosomes. We are all - each and every one of us - carrying around some notions we would do well to unload. That's part of the human condition. It's what people try to address in therapy. I believe the best therapists are the people in our lives, at home and at work, who lean on us a bit to go in a better direction than our stunted nature might incline us. You're a sincere, earnest young woman, giving a lot to this man. In earlier posts you shared how you were in between a family and a man who each wanted to run your life. I'm not throwing anything in your face. I'm taking the trouble to see the bigger picture. I've honestly shared my own failings, so I'm not coming from a perspective of feeling superior to you or your young man. In prior threads and here, you twist yourself in knots trying to justify everyone but you. To overcome your own depression, you need to do less of that. No drug claiming to adjust your neurotransmitters or those of your guys is going to fix this. I'm sharing the fruit of my many years of hard experience. Disregard what does not resonate with you, but give some credence to the sincere desire to help behind what I and other posters here are trying to say.

Your guy kind of wallows in his depression. I recognize that tendency because I do the same thing. Most depressive do it. It's not something to be made to feel guilty about, but to be firmly discouraged from doing. Alcoholism is a disease. But the drinker needs to figure out how to put down the glass. That's an imperfect analogy.