Thank you for your reply and the video.

I think most days deep down I don’t want to. I don’t want my life to end just this current one if that makes sense. I feel useless and a burden and just feel like if I wasn’t here then everyones lives would be better. On the days when I’ve just had enough and don’t see the point in carrying on anymore, I feel like that’s the best choice and it scares me how it’s always on my mind I might do it