You don't sound lazy at all. You've been through so much! I'm so sorry you're going through a hard time.

I was/am in a similar situation. I started my first day at work on Tuesday and had MAJOR anxiety leading up to the shift. But in the past I've been hired for jobs and would feel to anxious not to go.

Do you have any hobbies? Something I've learned that helps me is to find something I like and try and keep busy leading up to the start of shift. I like to draw. Doing something with my hands keeps me distracted. I also enjoy playing this game on my phone that is super chill. These little things help me get out of bed too.

Taking deep breaths and meditation help too.

I would also follow up with the therapist, too. Tell her how you feel and see if she can refer you to a doctor (a psychiatrist, I'm assuming) that possibly has earlier appointments.

I have less than a month to wait for an intake and even then I have to wait until the intake is over to schedule a psych eval because it's all on a sliding scale. I've had to wait over a month. I know exactly how you feel but remember this period of waiting is just that. It won't last forever.