Hm! I never considered this being a ‘thing’ as I’m single and have never lived with any of my past boyfriends. But I might pay attention to this as I can see it being an important balance to strike. I would have the same challenges as you. Often I don’t have an appetite and don’t want to be forever. At times like those I try and eat simply and would not want an elaborate meal. I think if he’s persistent on cooking them despite you wanting a large elaborate meal after you having communicated this, then he’s doing it for him and he should be prepared to clean up after himself too. I don’t think you both have to agree but maybe the expectations around it need to shift. He needs to stop pretending that he’s doing it for you. Unless maybe you are a light eater and he’s concerned about you not eating enough - maybe he’s trying to get you excited about food... but again, that’s his choice to do so and should not come as a gift with an expectation to clean. It’s nice when cleaning up after a meal could be something you might surprise him with when you want to show some appreciation back or when you ask him to cook for you...