i understand this SO well. I have been walking around in an invisible rage uniform and almost everything makes me either have an anxiety attack or lash out in anger. And, me being me (meaning hating to be a burden on others), I have been doing my best to internalize it and not to show it to people.... But, when I come home, I scream in anger, cry uncontrollably, tear up all my pillows.
The funny hing is people have no idea. At work, for instance, I act so calm (people actually told me that I am one the most level headed employees, so wtf?) but as soon as I get the rage, I go out to my car and start hitting the seat cushions and return to my office.
This has been like this for very long time. It is really exhausting and overwhelming. I cannot make any plans because I cannot rely on my anger. I have been extremely moody, with my rage poking its head in every little frustration. It has been so overwhelming. I hate this with every little cell in my body.