I was having dark thoughts about whether H is sick of me and wanted me to leave. I can't help it, at times my emotions rule. However, I now know that my fear is totally unfounded, but I'm not in the emotional ego state.

I am trying to keep in mind that my issue is me, my negative triggered emotions, and intellectually I believe it even more now that I am seeing it with H. I KNOW that my fear isn't true. I'm not triggered right now, not experiencing that ego state, so I totally believe that my issue is me. However, I realize that I will, yet again, revisit that ego state and I will again have difficulty fathoming that the negative thing I am feeling isn't true. But I guess all of this is going in the right direction.