OMG PINKSOIL,

YOUR AVATAR--IS THAT A GOAT OR A COW?



Thanks all for your thoughts. I think I'm sorta where Fuzzy and Pink are.

It is the trust that is now missing because of his foot in mouth disease.

Kiya said: </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
*shouldn't* be - but often IS.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Yeah, exactly!!

Sky is right, counter transference shouldn't be the clients concern but it does occur and winds up in our laps. I guess we just have to give it right back from whence it came?

Sunny,

Thanks for your thoughtful response. T and I are not the going out for a walk type of couple! We are strictly sit in the therapy room types.... I would feel uncomfortable because to me, it would not feel professional, and in fact, he is so much taller than me it would be a walking mismatch

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>

Isn't that a good goal to work toward? Go through it one last time, but do it right, and then be done with it. It may be painful, but you'll be free of it on the other side.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I surely mis-stated when I groused about going through it twice. In fact, you are exactly right that we repeat these patterns over and over. But as far as the goal is concerned here is how I like to think of it:

We work through these relational patterns in therapy so we can become aware of them and then integrate them into our experiences rather than look at them as anomalies or negativities. I don't think we ever get rid of them. I would love to get rid of them but have come to accept that they are part of me, like it or not. It's sort like accepting ourselves, warts and all. Then, I can begin to love myself.

Peace all