For all of your life up til now you have been a part of a family unit Olive, it may not have been perfect as you have mentioned, but, for the most part you felt safe and connected and you like having that in your life. It's totally understandable that imagining a life without would create a void for you when you sit and think about it. Being with someone, even when you love a lot about that person and the fact that you have a "sense" of safety with that person can present a challenge like you are experiencing right now. When that person is firm on not wanting to embrace something a part of you really liked having in your life that takes something important out of your life picture. It's really understandable that you would be struggling with this in that the "option" of creating your own family like what you grew up with is not going to be something you can have and enjoy if you want it. That IS a big challenge to consider.

You are still young yet and finding your way, yet, part of that is really thinking about "what" you see as being content and happy. It's totally understandable that being told "no family" if you are with me is a big deal, it's taking something out of your life and future that may be something important to you, something you existed having in your life that you would like to create for yourself. Ofcourse there are no guarantees when it comes to that, but, taking that option out with a definite is taking that "would like to have" away too.