Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
For all of your life up til now you have been a part of a family unit Olive, it may not have been perfect as you have mentioned, but, for the most part you felt safe and connected and you like having that in your life. It's totally understandable that imagining a life without would create a void for you when you sit and think about it. Being with someone, even when you love a lot about that person and the fact that you have a "sense" of safety with that person can present a challenge like you are experiencing right now. When that person is firm on not wanting to embrace something a part of you really liked having in your life that takes something important out of your life picture. It's really understandable that you would be struggling with this in that the "option" of creating your own family like what you grew up with is not going to be something you can have and enjoy if you want it. That IS a big challenge to consider.
You are still young yet and finding your way, yet, part of that is really thinking about "what" you see as being content and happy. It's totally understandable that being told "no family" if you are with me is a big deal, it's taking something out of your life and future that may be something important to you, something you existed having in your life that you would like to create for yourself. Ofcourse there are no guarantees when it comes to that, but, taking that option out with a definite is taking that "would like to have" away too.
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That is true. And I will continue to be part of a family unit. My parents sister and I are very close and even though we live in different states at the moment I know that I will settle down close to them. Living near them is a priority for all of us involved. I am scared of my parents passing. I know that my sister will 100% have children. She has always wanted them even more than I do and will make it happen by any means necessary so I will have family though that. I believe I will be pretty involved in her children’s life.
Like I said the rest of my family lives in other countries and I always wanted more family around so I figured I would eventually make more family. Things felt lonely with just 4 people so I wanted more.
Thank you for validating my emotions and putting into words exactly what I’m feeling. Yes I am young and wouldn’t even have children for several years. Yes it may never happen but taking away that OPTION forever is a painful decision to make at this stage in my life. Of course if I met a guy now knowing how much I value having a family I wouldn’t get involved with him but when I first met My SO didn’t know I wanted it this bad. Now we’re 4 years in and I see him as my family. It’s a lot harder to weigh when you have that history with someone thus why I’m contemplating what happiness looks like, my motivation for having children, the value of my relationship and all while magically trying to predict which will bring me the most joy and least regret 10,20,30 years down the line.