Is it any wonder that 100 years ago they locked us away in asylums and never looked back.
I am so sorry for anyone with no network of support. I have my sister 100%, and my husband about 80% (he's got some 'boot strap' crap in his thinking); I also have a neighbor whose sister ended her own life who is very supportive, as is my daughter in law whose brother ended his. Beyond that, I have no further support other than PC.
Please reach out to me or to us any time you need help or just a little encouragement.