I didn't read the whole article, but I find it so interesting that you see this as manipulation, when I see it as how people can connect to each other. Attunement is merely connecting with another person in such a way that they feel "seen" and "heard" for the person they are.

For example, I work with 2 year olds, so I get a lot of practice in trying to do this, especially with language. I have one child who will continue to repeat the same thing over and over, increasingly getting agitated if I don't understand what she is saying. I have learned ways to figure out a child that REALLY wants to be understood (aka: heard/seen), and the moment when I get it, I can see them relax and light up because I heard them.

That is small example of what I see as attunement, and what you see as manipulation.

(I am not judging your opinion at all, SD, I swear)