I think you sound that you grew up in a very traditional environment/family/life style where women supposed to listen to their parents and to their men. They suppose to move from parental home into man’s home, support his career choice and be his rock all while honoring her parents. It sounds as you haven’t really lived your own life and haven’t made your own decisions apart from following lead of your parents and your man. Some of the views you are expressing sound very traditonal/old fashioned. Perhaps it’s cultural and it’s ok but you sound conflicted so perhaps these traditional views are conflicting with your inner world.