I hated using the bathroom at group. The bathroom was in the middle of the common room. One time I came out and my therapist was right there. And she knew I had just come out. I was mortified. Every time after that I always held it. Sometimes I’d get extremely uncomfortable. I’ve had nightmares about using the bathroom in the middle of group. While group was going on.

If there is just one stall I refuse to use it. I’m scared there’s someone in there who hasn’t locked the door. It actually happened at Walmart.

So unless I absolutely have to, I refuse to use public restrooms. I’ve felt like this so long I don’t even think it’s a problem.

But sometimes I hold it for hours. Like 8 hours at a time. And I’m so physically uncomfortable. But I just can’t.