Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I think you sound that you grew up in a very traditional environment/family/life style where women supposed to listen to their parents and to their men. They suppose to move from parental home into man’s home, support his career choice and be his rock all while honoring her parents. It sounds as you haven’t really lived your own life and haven’t made your own decisions apart from following lead of your parents and your man. Some of the views you are expressing sound very traditonal/old fashioned. Perhaps it’s cultural and it’s ok but you sound conflicted so perhaps these traditional views are conflicting with your inner world.
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I would agree it was rather traditional. My dad was very much so the dominant one over my mom, made more money, called the shots. They believe that having a family is the only path to take. When they talk about my future they always mention “their grandkids” but they have never asked me IF I even want kids- it’s just assumed I will have them. They always expected me to honor the parents/ family and think they should come first before any partner/ boyfriend/ husband. But They always preached for me to be my own person, have my own career, not depend on a man.
I have attempted to lead my own life separate from my family- I moved out the house the day after my 18th birthday. I picked a career and partner they don’t approve of, live somewhere they don’t approve of. Not in spite of them but just because I wanted those things. I do think that my decision making skills are pretty bad because I’m already an indesive person with a lot of overbearing presences- parents, older sister, headstrong boyfriend.
While I do face a lot of indecision with my career and relationship I hold on to three main truths: I will 100% change my career. Plus I do want a family and I want to spend my life with my bf. Unfortunately I don’t get to do both so I have to choose. I don’t think that I am such a mindless person that I only want a family because of my family influences but I have also never explored the concept of not having kids and how that would make me feel- until now.