Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
Interesting that if you met someone "now" that expressed not wanting children you would not get involved. Yet, because you are involved with someone for four years that expresses this not wanting children, you feel that you really have to honor his choice. It's ok to love someone yet finally recognize that this person is not going to be a good "lifetime" match because this person doesn't want the same things you want and this person is adamant in that he "never" wants children. That's a big option to take out of your future so it's understandable that you are really struggling with this challenge. I think you are too young to make that decision, you are really just finding yourself right now too. What if you get pregnant by accident? Does this mean you have to terminate to make him happy?
Personally, I think you are too young yet to make this decision. You have a lot of years that you can bear a child yet and I honestly think you should keep that "privately" open to be a option for yourself. It's "your" life and "your body", not your partner's.
|
I agree it’s a big decision to say in this moment: “yes I will commit to NEVER having kids for the rest of my life”. Even my best friend who has been saying she never wants kids since we were children is willing to keep the option open for revisiting in the future. In your mid- 20s you have that luxury.
It is a much easier choice to make when you aren’t already in love with someone and haven’t already envisioned a future together. I want him in my future, I love him, and it is too painful to accept that we are incompatible.
I want to keep the option of kids open but I have another person on the line. From my bfs perspective he’s 100% sure he wants to marry me and does not want to have kids. Giving up being a mother for someone else seems like it will lead to future conflict? Just like him having kids just to be with me would lead to conflict.
We’ve been planning bits of our future together so it’s understandable that he wants a decision out of me. He’s been having panick attacks, and I had a migraine so I know this limbo were in right now is hard on him and it’s not really fair for either of us. But I honestly don’t know if I will be happier staying with him without kids or breaking up to maybe have kids. How can I know?