I am already up and in spite of my allergies making me sluggish, I feel determined to get things done like I did yesterday. I am taking assertive steps to address various things that have been ignored. I learned early on to swipe things under the rug so one could stay in denial.

I feel so hopeful now and at the same time I am afraid I am going to fail. But the good outweighs the bad. Thank you for accepting my neediness in session and out. It really has made a huge difference I am really pushing forward to do my part. I can't imagine what it is like to not loose so many things every day. I used to put it out of mind because I couldn't stand the ambivalence it caused. It's like I silenced a voice of mine.

All 3 of us (including the dog), are changing. Our communications are starting to be where we want it to be. All of us have had to change and it is and will continue to be difficult. But, I made a point to talk to H about this because I was feeling like he didn't want me anymore, like he didn't want to be around me, that he wanted to leave. So, we talked about it and he said none of that is true. I told him that we both need to communicate now more than ever before.

I texted H and emailed him one day like I usually do (no answer) and then again the next day (no answer) . This really wratcheted up my anxiety. So the last email I sent him telling him we need to talk, I said, PLease respond, and he did.

It's like my issues that have played out in your room is now being played irl. I think D is taking it in stride and probably wonders if it will last. We helped her with a problem she was having, so I have a lot of hope for the future. Like, I hope that things can get better and continue to do so. So that's my update

Hope might be warranted at this time.