My last episode lasted over 6 months, and landed me in jail and state hospital. I lost about a year of my life because I stopped taking my meds and thought I could self medicate and be alright.
Well, I was wrong again.
lost everything this time.
Job, car, friends, girl.
I'm lucky that my parents have taken me back in their house.

They think I am doing great and that's that. Physically, I look fine compared to past.

But, inside I feel Empty. Like my whole spirit or soul has left me with my former self. My meds are maxed on doses and I am sleeping like 12 hours a night.
I should be back on SSDI next month. But nobody around me thinks I should work right now. Myself, Id like a part time job and maybe go back to school for my b.a.
All of this has me feeling and believing I am permanently disabled.

I still have to make appointment with T for some serious questions.

I know its going to take a long time to regain my strength and confidence and regain my life back.

Right now, I am lost.

Thanks for reading.