I wish I could just live as a hermit, where I saw nobody, where I didn't have to spend all hours trying to figure things out. I am in a downward slump and I'm already dreading work tomorrow. I am trying to change, but I am concurrently becoming overwhelmed. I have to go to the store to get some things but I'm so out of it. I'm trying to stay afloat by watching YouTube videos. They have a good one on gratitude where the person uses photography and videography to depict nature. I need to go elsewhere to appreciate something I've not seen before, but maybe later. I so badly want to find myself out of this whatever it is but I can't. I'm so tired of posting negativity. I don't know how to do this. This just may be my lot in life. Maybe I can't get better than this. I can keep writing here, and I have gotten better, but is there any hope of getting out of this part of the affliction? At what point to I stop and just accept this is who I am for the rest of my life.
I wish you would read and respond to this, T. But I get it anyway.

Have you ever just given up on someone who is hopeless?