I think. . .and this is just MY opinion. . .that this happens frequently in young marriages. My husband and I married very young. . .three weeks after my 20th birthday. My God. . .we were still figuring out how to be grown ups when we got married. We loved one another fiercely however.

When things got hard. . .and they DID believe me. . .and the D word was getting thrown around, I had enough sense to know that the answer wasn't in a carnal act of gratification. There were plenty of those (with each other, never with other people) and they NEVER satisfied. It wasn't until I got into counseling that I realized I was waiting for him to "save" me in some bizarre sense. Hello? Smack familiar anyone? Coming to the realization that I didn't need saving, that he had his own need for saving, and that neither of us was really the "answer" to the other, it made it easier to get a fresh perspective on things. We worked. . .we worked HARD. . .and we worked through these things. This year, we'll celebrate 14 years of marriage. It CAN be done.

Regarding the drinking. . .Jan 4 was my three year mark. . .and this was the SECOND time I got sober. I KNOW how hard it is when you are ADDICTED to alcohol. It makes you do stupid crap and clouds just about every single decision you make b/c every decision revolves around that next drink. You CAN get sober.

Again. . .it all comes down to a willingness to be brutally honest and brutally vulnerable and allowing others to be brutally honest with you. If you aren't ready to go to that place, then it'll be a waste of time anyway.