Hi there.

No, you are not being punished.
Being physically handicapped since birth and also mostly asexual, I know how messy everything can get and how one can indulge in self pity and sorrow. So, I can suggest just one recipe that works for me - stop taking it personal. Yes, it's a problem and it's important. Yes, you shouldn't ignore it and shouldn't be silent about it. And, of course, don't give up, visit doctors and carefully try new treatments. Be open about it with your partner. It should be something that you both should accept.
But also don't make it all about you. Try to find other things that give you pleasure. Try to be neutral or even somewhat self-ironic about it - it really helps to get through some "black days".

Take care.