I hope you do decide to see a therapist. Your fear of your ex and his 'thoughts' are disturbing, and it certainly doesn't help that he won't go for help. How do his parents feel about all this? I think it would be hard getting closure until he is getting some help, and that you feel you can be safe from him.
Glad to hear your daughter stopped having nightmares.
Let me know what happens. Take care.
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