I think that the fact that H and I are changing the dynamic, that that, along with some stress at work,---lost my train of thought, but I noticed that H is not reacting to me as he usually does. And you know how sensitive I am, it is triggering my emotions, which brings up my doubt about him. I talked to him about it and it is because he is getting frustrated that he can't do things he wants to do. Things he usually would do (like obsessively hover over me). I took it as he hated me and didn't want to be with me anymore. Also, when I talk to him, I will get the silent answer which I hate anyway. For that he keeps telling me he doesn't get what I'm saying. Maybe in the DP state I don't make sense or whatever?

Another clue this is bothering me is that for two days I was upset that he didn't return my emails/texts. I'm not usually like this with him. But our relationship is changing in a good way (but painful) but I think it is bringing up my abandonment fears.

I asked for an extra session because I am having massive anxiety and I need to know how to handle all of these things I have been dealing with and other possible things that might be triggering also. Plus,, I am dealing with a lot of shame about who I am and who I am not. Thanks T.